so erm... post became a DUFF DUFF?

until recently i haven't really been followed the EastEnders storyline because it was.. shall we say, a glass of skimmed milk (weak). Surprisingly when Bradley Branning jumped from a roof and became a twitter trending topic,it gave EastEnders the kick start i was waiting for along with my coffee and galaxy cookie crumble.

However last week Feb 21-28 ,was very unusual . unusual with the fact that stolen post made a duff duff(yes you read correctly). i guess the writers could be making a valid point about our royal mail and their postal-strike-stealing-late-delivering-track record which pisses of at least 20 million of us Brits a day (give or take 1 million). i dont know if this sounds obvious, but i really do NOT see how post is a cliff hanger,seeing as previous cliff hangers have been , ermmm... MURDERS/outing of MURDERERS

i mean Masood? what a waste of a weeks worth of episodes

the only high light is the drowning of that bloody Dog . Yes i said it, i HATE DOGS

i dont want to do another duff duff related post CAPICHE? so....

SORT IT OUT!!

NO im not a VIRGIN, i use my CAHONAS

Why Wont you just leave me alone?!!!

Dear Mr.Jay -to-the-izzo,

you and your devil music has put me into a trance and if i hear on to the next on one more time, i think i will be first in line to get a chip implanted into my hand or head. i try to resist but the beats are just "mind control", beyonce is just your #hotwitchjujujslave and my brain is just your humble vessel in which your masonic chants reside in.

lots of love and satan ;)

theladynotyetmason

p.s. enough with the 3's already I know your a mason and right now i'm having an illuminati party

Christie Brinkley Breasts And Botox

Christie Brinkley before and after plastic surgery.

Let me begin by saying, Christie Brinkley is 56 years old and stunningly beautiful.

Christie Brinkley certainly has amazing genes to be looking this fabulous at 56, however a few red flags point to the help of plastic surgery.

For starters, i don't think there is any debate whatsoever regarding her breast implants.

But the real mystery is Christie's face and whether or not its seen the inside of a plastic surgeons office. The red flag i alluded to earlier is the expressions or lack thereof, coming from the forehead region of Ms. Brinkley.


This could be the result of a full blown brow lift or perhaps frequent botox injections. I guess this is kinda like a plastic surgery mystery of sorts.

THAT "LIGHTIE GUY" IS LENGG,shame his like 15.PAR!

"My Tesco brings all the mums to the yard & they're like "Do you have a clubcard?"

I've Just Been Chased By THREE DOGS!!!!

If you know me at all...You'd know that once your not a human being we can't be friends.  

NAAHHH!  I just cant believe in you...! NOPE!!

Hamsters, Gerbles, Rats, Donkeys, Goats...the like

Never! Just forget it!

So yea, Imagine this,

Its yesterday night...

Its late...

I'm standing in Brixton waiting for my bus home.  Due to the fact that green lane is closed... 

(If your lost when it comes to green lane don't worry...Just follow!...And maybe get out abit more..) 

...I can take more that just the one 250, I can also take the 109, which is a tad more frequent.  

So, yea... Brixton!  And o wow...theres the 109.  So obviously Ive got on it...and now im sitting down.  Somewhere in the journey theres a really REALLY smelly cat lady type woman and I'm just dying so I get off. 

It was only like a stop before the stop I should of got off.  But the smell was too much for me.. I'm not usually that bad when it comes to these kind of things but it was SOOO horrible.  And one thing in this life I can't seal with is bad smells!

But anyway thats SO not what I'm supposed to be talking about!

Back to the story....

I'm walking now...I've been walking for about 8 minutes...And I'm nearly home.

Then...As I turn a certain corner...I see a man.

No problem there..Just a black man on a dark night aged about 33, Yea...Thats fine.  

But you see...The problem is the fact that running in front of him are 3 puppies! 

Yea...

Thats a big problem.

Because thay looked like this... 

If your crazy, your tying to think that that thing is cute...Yea, I don't like you at this moment!!!

Because I'm looking at a murderer right there! Something with the capability of just gobbling me up!!!!

*Takes a calming breath*

Ok, so...Yea. Ive seen these devils running at these guys feet... n they've seen me! 

PROBLEM!!

Obviously I've stopped walking, because I just dont want any trouble,  But one of the dogs are making intimidating sounds at me!!

MAJOR PROBLEM!

Obviously I kno that this is gonna be eventful. And I'm just looking at the man.  You know, for a bit of moral support or something.

So he's making noises at his things!! And they're listening to him.  But I already know, that because these things are puppies they're not as tamed or trained! Basically theyre just killers!

In the hope that this guy knows what he's doing I've started walking now...

And yeah!......One of the devils has now decided that, No, I dont really want to focus on my owner...I wanna focus on you...

EXTREME MAJOR PROBLEM!!

I'm walking now,  But the devil is roaring at me! And so are his 2 demon brothers!!

....

And now, your chasing me!

......................

I

AM 

GONE!!!

I am now running for my life!!!! Because behind me are 3 devils trying to ake my life from me....

AND CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY ON THIS EARTH THE BLACK MAN IS NOW SHOUTING...

In a very peacful unfazed tone may I add...

"Don't run, Stop running...Don't run!"

ALRIGHT!  So, I'm running like a jamacian, my hats just fallen of...And now I've just made a loud sound!...something to the effect of..."AHHHHHH!!!!"

Yeah! I've actually just gone..."AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Now, I'm embarrassed because I've just gone "AHHHH",  as I'm getting chased by 3 devils. And then to top it all of....I'm actually now jumping onto a bonnet of a car!  Yes I am...

Not only Have I just jumped onto a car but I'm now sliding off and holding on for dear life, because I don't know if I'm sliding into a dogs mouth, I don't know If it can get me up here and obviously I've just made a loud sound!

Its late...

Its a quiet road!

I'm standing on someones car....

My hat is on the floor back there....

AND THERE ARE NO DOGS ANYMORE!

I've just been chased by three dogs!

And I'm alive!

Ive just been chased by three dogs!!

Yea!

Ive just been chased by three dogs!

Victoria Silvstedt Trout Pout Lips

Victoria Silvstedt is a Swedish model who is perhaps best known for being Playboy's Playmate of the Year in 1997.

Back in 1997 when Victoria hit the big time, her lips were lovely full and seemingly 100% natural, unfortunately as we age, many of us develop insecurities and seek out perfection by getting plastic surgery.

Victoria Silvstedt's trout pout lips are a perfect example of unnecessary plastic surgery, when you consider she already had exceptionally full lips.

Biggest And Worst Celebrity Trout Pout Lips

When it come to abnormally large lips, you would be hard pressed to find another pair of trout pout lips bigger than Nikki Cox's huge inflated kissing bags.

I suppose Lisa Rinna could give Nikki a run for her money with the big lips she has, however i believe the sheer width of Nikki's lips would win by a landslide, if they were measured for a "large lips" competition...

Could the lips in this picture really be the biggest and worst celebrity lips in show business?

WANG MEETS ADELE-O(again)

Incase you were abraod or youd been hibernating for months, i previously caught up with my most aaamaziglist mate adele last month .anyhooooo im back here with her discussing bruce almighty,my mums NOT HOT food and something about her stepping in a puddle.

Wang/funmi: Alrightey amiga whats been going down??
Adele:not much reallly life is being quite dry,like ur mums chiken...
oohhh i went there
Wang/funmi:EXCUSE ME *gasps*,whats wrong with my mums chicken?
Adele:haha? nothing, except its lack in moisture
, oh i joke!goooosh.ur mum makes luvly food :)
Wang/funmi:Thank you,her food is a lil bit spicy though
Adele:VERRYYY
my nose was drripping, i was crying, i went temporarly deaf!...ha ha ha nt realy
Wang/funmi:baby,baby,cry cry baby..wha whahahhahhaha
Adele:ha ha !
i can imagine u saying it
in ur witch voice
aka ur normal voice
but today started off shit
but got Great
Wang/funmi:oh lal a
Adele:First
i stepped in a puddle :(
thats how u know God has a sense of humour
Wang/Funmi:God is hilariussssss,
Morgan freeman.
Adele:hahhaha
Wang/funmi:Bruce almighty was actually great film
Adele:he is gorg!
yh bruce is good too
I GOT THE POWER
bam !
u skirt is up over ur face bitch!
oh yeah
fear my rath!
Wang/funmi:i love make believe comedy movies about God!
*signs*
Adele:scooby doo..
Wang/funmi: scooby who?
Adele:no?
scooby doo!
any way
then some one ! ..(lissandro). put water on my chair and i sat on it
:(
my bum was wet for like... 10 mins
sigh
its not a good look
and THEN
we(her class) had a presentation to do
only 1 other person showed up!
ONE
out of 5 !
i was sooooooo embarest
we had to present it to the first years
SNM.

London Fashion Week!!HELLO MENSWEAR!

(photos courtesy of fashion156.com )

NAOMI CAMPBELL .................

Naomi Campbell attended The ELLE Style Awards 2010 held at the Grand Connaught Rooms in London on Monday.

Naomi, who donned an Alexander McQueen jungle-print dress, was presented with the Outstanding Contribution award by the British Prime Minister’s wife, Sarah Brown, for her efforts in the fashion industry and charitable endeavors.

Sarah Ferguson Brow Plus Lips

Sarah Ferguson before and after plastic surgery.

Well if isn't the royal Duchess of York herself, Ms. Sarah Ferguson.

My word, Sarah is looking awfully youthful in recent pictures, i wonder if this has something to do with plastic surgery, for the former member of the British Royal Family.

If she did in fact go under the knife for plastic surgery, i would guess that her main operation was a brow lift, along with botox and possible lip injections.

Catherine Bell Nose Job

Catherine Bell before and after nose job plastic surgery.

Catherine Bell is the lovely American actress who is probably best known for her role as Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie on the television show entitled, JAG. And more recently as Denise Sherwood on Army Wives.

Back in the late 90's Catherine Bell was one of the sexiest women on television, period, however recently her appearance seems to have changed, for the worse.

Unfortunately it looks like Catherine has went under the plastic surgery knife for a good ol' fashion nose job, which resulted in a very slim pointy nose job.

I gotta admit, i was complete shocked when i first saw her new nose, seeing how she already had a very beautiful nose before the plastic surgery.

"Gordon Brown is an EVILE GIANT BULLY" FUCK OFF PLS.

Soo its been the News recently that the staff from number 10 downing stret have been calling the anti bullying helpline saying they feel stress that basically they are getting bullied or feeling intimated and bullied by gordon brown??GORDON BROWN?? really. i know when he tries to smile he comes across creepy and a teeny bit like a paedophile but FAHK.its not he fault he has wonky eye. EYE RACISTS! ALSO I believe that swarmy actually rather friendly gordon brown can bully a fly.YES? i can understand why people want any excuse to get him out of number 10 but really and truly the collapse of the economy wasnt his fault..IT WAS HIS RASSCLARRRT STAFF who are COMPLAINING.they were the ones who left all oure bank statements and details on the circle line tarin, they wwere the ones who spent £2,000 for their dog sash to get a manicure,etc.the list is endlessss.soo if any one try teels me tha gordon brown is a bully ILL HIT YOU WITH MY POKEMON CARD.OK????? GORDON BROWN is my best friend innit..brlaaaaap. actually its not really but if you wanna boot him from his prime minister you probably need a better excuse....if he was alien swarmINGy scot?? that might be a visable excuse
SAFE!

SHE LOOKS GORGEOUS

Kate Moss turned out to support her friend Naomi Campbell at the Fashion For Relief catwalk show for Haiti yesterday. The model took to the runway and also paid tribute to designer Alexander McQueen, the best way she knew how, by wearing one of his creations.

Pamela Anderson Lips

Pamela Anderson is pretty much the patron saint of plastic surgery, in terms of breast implants, however it appears that Pam is trying her luck in a new method of enhancement, lip injections.

Does anybody remember Pamela Anderson's lips being this full? Seriously, wow!

TRAFFIC LIGHT PARTY VENUE IS .........

I had a dream...

that Alex turner was touching me up then he took me to tesco and bought me a jam doughnut then he started to sing this song(video below) to me to show me his love and then i started to cry(bcuz i hate the song) and he then sang more ..patted my head and made me pancakes!

Vivica Fox Plastic Face

Vivica Fox before and after plastic surgery.

Vivica Fox sure is looking mighty different these days, so lets take this opportunity and play everyone's favorite plastic surgery game, "What in the world, happen to her face?".

Contestant #1: Did she have an eye lift and cheek implants?

Contestant #2: I bet she had a chin implant and a brow lift!

Contestant #3: She clearly went the whole nine yards and got a full blown facelift!

Well, unfortunately there are no real winners on "What in the world, happen to her face?", just tears, glasses full of salty tears.

Now all we need is a "flux capacitor" so we can stop our beloved Vivica Fox from ever venturing into the world of plastic surgery.

Remember her dreadful breast implants? We can save those too!

JORDAN?JODIE MARSH? FAHKK OFF! MEET SARA WILLIS!

RAAAAAAAAAA RATTTAAA! ello gello meeello. i want introduce you lot Sara willis , deemed as the new glamour model on the scene,well hopefully. Can i just say SHE HAS AMAZING BOOOBS. 32 GG!! FAHK! yes! no no surgeryy people..ALL NATURALE.THANK FUCK FOR THAT. *gasps*
I know how you lot are just pervs soo feel free to waaaaaaankk over the pics and bare in mind YOU WILL be hearing her name EVERYWHERE!(dont say i didnt tell ya)but just soo you know that sara is MINEE(soo dont try to chirpse her innit),she's my older POIVERTED sister from another orientated mother.

she joked "I love getting my wangers out and getting paid for it. Simple as that really! Haha if Chris Brown reads it I will actually let him beat me." ahhhhhh ok she said i shouldnt put that bit in..but if chris brown you are READING THIS . Sara will infact sex you.!Perv on her photos and drink some coffee innit or just do some stalking on
her twitter

POUNDS & DOLLARS FILM TRAILER

TFL SUCKS! DONT PISSSS MANN OFF!

This is probably this best picture to describe i look like now, im sooooo piss off im actually boiling. IT TOOK ME THREE HOURS TO GET FROM WESTFIELD/SHEPHERDS BUSH TO WANDWORTH
WTF!!!!!!!!
WTF!!!!!!!!
WTF!!!!!!!!

because my rassclarrttt 220 bus couldnt be bothered to actually come to my stop.why???? because the guy was probably getting wank off by a polish builder.GGGHADHSLKMKMLCL;

AND AFTERRRRRR actually waiting years foirteh bus, i was on the bus, actually smiling, thinking thank fuck, im on my wayy home but NO,aparently A RUSSIAN TRAMP had sneak his way onto the bus without paying and he refused to get off therefore the bus driver refused to continue the journey.hjsdmznmznxmn ,m,.m I WAS LIKE " GERRRRR OFF THE BUS PLS YOU RUSSIAN TRAMP, I WILL BUY YOU IN PLANTAIN, I JUST WANNNA GET HOME AND SEE MY MUMMY" whilst crying and pulling out my extensions in my hair.

Cut story short, im home and i need to drink tea to get my blood pressure back to normal .

FUCK YOU TFL!

Jeremy Jackson Big Nose Job

Jeremy Jackson before and after nose job plastic surgery.

Many of you probably wont even remember who Jeremy Jackson is, well to refresh your memory, he played the role of Hobie Buchannon (Hoff's son) on the popular television show Baywatch.

I think it goes without saying, but Jeremy Jackson has drastically changed his appearance with a major nose job, new hairstyle and dark guyliner.

Was this yet another botched nose job or simply good plastic surgery? You be the judge!

Naomi Campbell Nose Job

Naomi Campbell before and after nose job plastic surgery.

Remember the fabulously sleek English runway model who is known for assaulting her assistants with shiny objects?

Naomi Campbell is her name and apparently getting plastic surgery is her game, or at least that's what this before and after picture seems to reveal.

The Naomi Campbell of today appears to have a very different and much more defined bridge to her nose, unlike the young model who became famous in the mid 80's.

What do the readers think? Nose job or no job?

Keep your chastity belt on

i really really really, envy "pure folk" aka VIRGINS. why..? i hear you ask, i'll tell you why.

previous to my de-flowering (haha african term) i had very optimistic hopes about SHEX. i thought "this is going to be the making of me"(literally) there is no way in hell a guy this hot would be crap at SHEXING...OH if only someone had told me how wrong i would be.

firstly he turned off the music, WHY the hell would you do that? OK i love you, you love me but that doesn't mean that i want the sound of your heavy breathing to be my first memory of intercourse (scarred for life)

after foreplay he then decided to quicken things up by not giving me sufficient lip service, not that all of 5 minutes was good anyway, i got better head when i was 15.

and after after i was numb from embarrassment and shame ,he then proceeded to fuck me,as we fucked i kept thinking of what my mate had said" don't fuck white dicks, cos you cant bounce on them" its was completely TRUE and for what seemed like an hour, but i checked my watch it i was 25 minutes of thrusting and grunts.he dropped me twice and i banged my head leaving me with a huge KOKO

IT WAS SHIT. like UBER SHIT. i can honestly say that i didn't know what he was doing but i just felt like a dead fish .

why does porn make everything look so appealing ? then i had the feeling that if it wasn't for me cycling him then the whole encounter would have been fruitless.

all in all it was a lame experience that i didn't care to repeat and if we weren't in a relationship i don't think i ever would have looked his dick in the eye again, in two and a half years we only had Amazing sex twice,the rest was less than mediocor and quite frankly dissapointing JOSHUA!

WADAU WAKILA HEPI SIKU YA VALENTINE

Vanessa Ferlito Inflated Lips

Vanessa Ferlito before and after.

You might remember Ms Vanessa Ferlito in Tarantino's short film entitled Death Proof, or perhaps for her role as Detective Aiden Burn on CSI: New York.

Regardless of how you know her, Vanessa Ferlito willy surely leave an impression on you, if she's sporting her huge unnaturally giant inflatable lips.

These young celebrity women really need to tone it down with all the excess plastic surgery. For goodness sakes, she already had wonderful lips to begin with.

Fly me to the moon

Dear,Eric&Tim

i sometimes find, that you are too physical with me, so i have locked you in your room with only a video camera, some acid and flying lotus on repeat for a week.

i hope you stop playing with your flourecent dick

Love .your LadyByron

XX

Directed by Eric Wareheim (Tim & Eric) in association with Warp Records and Warp Films. Music by Flying Lotus. Co Directed/ Animation by Devin Flynn. Co Directed/ Edited by Eric Fensler. More info at dancefloordale.com

HANDSOME COOL STYLISH MEN??? FAHHKK OFFF!

HAPPY VALENTINESSSS!(dont be emo singletons)

If your a relationship, kudos to you. dont fahk it up,bcuz i tend to do that.I know all your single ladies will be like gagging and stuff but heyyy you all know you'd rather be in relationship rather than preaching that i wanna-be-independence-malarky

thats me, i can NEVER bring myself to say "i love you" onlyyy in written form.only.
ist soo weird i had plan out what i was gonna say in this post but its all gone over my head now. Basically dont sabotage anything good you have going on. you see me, i WOULD love to be with a guy(certain guy) but voila i tend to sabotage things, just ask my mate ruth from secondaryu she'll tell you. soo ive come to the conclusion that ill be lonely probably living with cats and depressed goldfishes but if you have something going right now. thank fuck. but in the words of amer , food things happen to those who wait.MEH!

Richard Grieco Nose Job

Richard Grieco before and after nose job plastic surgery.

My oh my, what has happened to the once studly "21 Jump Street" star?

Richard Grieco has seemingly been out of the Hollywood spotlight for the better part of a decade and now that he has reemerged, his former good looks seemed to have changed, for the worse.

For starters, it looks like hes lost a good 25 pounds, which makes his face look kinda eerie and skeletal, and then we see this new slim pointy nose of his.

I don't know if he went under the knife for a nose job or not, but clearly something has happened to the face of Richard Grieco, and plastic surgery seems like the only logical explanation to me.

Marisa Miller Breast Implants

Marisa Miller is the gorgeously voluptuous model who is well known for having all the right curves, but i have my doubts that her breast are the real deal genetic feel.

I think, she already had decent size boobs and decided to slightly increase her bust size with very natural looking breast implants.

I'm not 100% sure on this plastic surgery scenario, however my "implant sense" went crazy when i first saw this particular picture.

"...He produced some of the most beautiful, shocking images in the history of fashion..."

So sadly, Today the news hit....that Lee McQueen (Alexander McQueen) committed suicide.  

WANG will never really have many mellow moments,  But I think now is a very appropriate...

The "bad-boy of London fashion" was found dead yesterday after apparently hanging himself.

Not much to say is there really...

Just leaves you thinking.... 

And the thought is always the same... A very loud and resounding.  WOW! 

Then.  Nothing....

The Alexander McQueen website reads:

"On behalf of Lee McQueen's family, Alexander McQueen today announces the tragic news that Lee McQueen, the founder and designer of the Alexander McQueen brand has been found dead at his home. At this stage it is inappropriate to comment on this tragic news beyond saying that we are devastated and are sharing a sense of shock and grief with Lee's family.

Lee's family has asked for privacy in order to come to terms with this terrible news and we hope the media will respect this."

Lets hope they do...

So erm... in not saying to many words...

There we have it.  

Just expect to see these babies....

EVERYWHERE!!

"The news that Alexander McQueen has killed himself is particularly devastating because it always felt to me like he’d be the last man standing." - Style.com

funmi is a daggering QUEEN, she loves it

Andie MacDowell Breast Implants

When i saw this picture of the famed celebrity actress Andie MacDowell, i was at a loss for words at how perky her breasts are, for a 51 year old woman.

Could Andie MacDowell have possibly located the fountain of youth or better yet, the fountain of anti-sag?

Or is this nothing more than the result of some good old fashion plastic surgery, like breast implants?

If those puppies are all natural, props to you Ms. MacDowell! Bravo!

PICTURE OF THE DAY

Mia Farrow Lips And Cheeks

Mia Farrow before and after plastic surgery.

Is it just me, or has Mia Farrow changed in ways, other than the natural aging process?

Without the before picture, it would be difficult to even recognize her, as she looks today.

I don't recall hearing any reports about her having plastic surgery, but i can't help but think that she must have underwent a few procedures in the last decade.

For one, her cheeks seem very large and unnatural, which leads me to believe she had cheek implants, and her eyes have also changed drastically with a possible eye lift.

And the no brainier would be her plump upper lip, most likely from collagen injections.

Jessica Alba Plastic Surgery Look A Like

Get ready for a plastic surgery story worthy of only the twilight zone. "Key the music!".

A 21-year-old Chinese woman named Xiaoqing, is planning to undergo a number of plastic surgery operations in an attempt to look like the beautiful actress, Jessica Alba.

Why would she do this?

Apparently, she is trying to win back the love of her ex boyfriend, who is totally obsessed with the actress.

Xiaoqing was quoted as saying "My friends kept consoling me but it did not work, so they suggested I do plastic surgery to look like her (Jessica Alba)."

Her planned operations include an eye lift, brow lift and nose job among other nips and tucks, I'm sure.

And to top it off, the Shanghai surgeons are going to preform these very expensive procedures free of charge, in exchange for world wide publicity.

THE FEMININE WILDE!