So here is Evil Barbies take on 'Strictly Come Dancing' I have no ballroom expertise, my only dancing knowledge is, Belly Dancing & enjoying myself down the nightclub's... but that's never stopped me having an opinion, so here is my tongue in cheek view of the show & I hope you enjoy, but if you don't ...... tough!! On the 1st two shows (Friday & Saturday) The celebrity's get to show off their Waltz or Cha-cha-cha, They get points for their performances, but nobody is sent home & there is no public vote, but their points are carried over to week 3. Week 3 the celebrity's that danced a Ballroom Waltz last time, do a Latin Salsa & those who did the Latin Cha-cha-cha, will do the Ballroom Foxtrot!... This week the points count, there is a public vote & the results of who's going home are on Sundays show!
So Who Are This Years Celebrity's?
And Who Are They Dancing With?
The celebrity's I've never heard of, or have never seen before tonight, are marked with a **
- Rory Bremner (Impressionist) & Erin Boag
- Edwina Curry (Ex Conservative MP) & Vincent Simone
- Robbie Savage (Manchester United Footballer)** & Ola Jordan
- Russell Grant (Astrologer) & Flavia Cacace
- Dan Lobb (Sports Presenter on Daybreak) & Katya Virshilas
- Lulu (Singer) & Brendan Cole
- Audley Harrison (Boxer)** & Natalie Lowe
- Jason Donovan (Singer) & Kristina Rihanoff
- Harry Judd (McFlys Drummer) & Aliona Vilani
- Nancy Dell'Olio (Business Woman?) & Anton Du Beke
- Alex Jones (The One Show, Presenter) & James Jordan
- Holly Valance & Artem Chigvintsev
- Anita Dobson (Actress - Angie in Eastenders)
- Chelsee Healy (Actress - Waterloo Rd)** & Pasha Kovalev
So that's the line up, let the dancing begin!!! Who will the judges Len Goodman, Craig Revel Horwood, Bruno Tonioli & Alisha Dickson, LOVE & who will they HATE?? And will all Bruce Forsyth's jokes be cringe making? Or will he have a few OK or even a good one in there somewhere.
Show One, Friday 30th September
The Show Starts, with Brucie in his usual black tie & tails & Co Host, Tess Daly in a disappointing, violet, knee length, shift dress, which was shapeless & did nothing for her, you could tell when she moved slightly sideways that it had some kind of waterfall (or similar) detail on the back, but as she was presenting head on to camera throughout the show, we never got to see it, so it was a poor choice for the show (Sack the stylist) But on to the performances And 1st up, out of tonight's 7 celebrity's & starting off the new series was Australian Beauty, Holly Valance....
1) Holly Valance & Artem - Dancing The Cha-cha-cha, to 'I Just Wanna Dance' (Who's That Chick) Holly looked cute in a quite 60's (Austin Powers-esque) Gold Mini Dress, with big 60's hair, Artem in a gold short sleeved shirt edged in black, worn with black tight trousers. Holly showed some good Movement, Timing & Posture, and looked to be enjoying herself, she made a Good Effort for her 1st dance, especially as she was the 1st celeb that danced, which must of added to her nerves. No doubt will improve as she goes along, I think she may last a while in the competition!!!
The Judges Marks - Craig (6) Len (7) Alisha (8) Bruno (7) Total score 28
2) Dan Lobb & Katya - Dancing The Waltz, to 'Are You Lonesome Tonight?' Dan wore a goldish yellow shirt & tie with his black trousers& tail coat, Katya wore a gorgeous long, pail primrose, flowing gown. Dan was very Elegant & Graceful across the floor, but his face looked a bit serious & grimaced, probably due to nerves. Not bad seeing he is a lot taller than his partner, tall guy's seem to struggle more with dancing on strictly for some reason.
The Judges Marks - Craig (4) Len (7) Alisha (7) Bruno (6) Total score 24
3) Lulu & Brendan - Dancing The Cha-cha-cha, to 'I Got the Music In Me' Lulu wore a purple frilly, asymmetrical mini dress, Brendan a matching purple shirt & tight black trousers. It was a fairly good attempt, although you could see it wasn't how the routine should of gone, as Lulu, had a lost, dazed, panicked look in her eyes at times! Like she had suddenly got a dancing mental block!
The Judges Marks - Craig (2) Len (5) Alisha (6) Bruno (6) Total score 17
4) Audley Harrison & Natalie - Dancing The Waltz to, 'In The Arms Of The Angel's' Audley in white tie & tails, Natalie in a gorgeous empire line, long strappy dress, with a gold top part & coral from below the bust line. Audley was very light on his feet, and danced gracefully for a big, tall muscular, man, good effort.
The Judges Marks - Craig (3) Len (5) Alisha (6) Bruno (6) Total score 20
5) Robbie Savage & Ola - Dancing The Cha-cha-cha, to 'Bad Boys' Robbie wore a rather trendy looking, black hoodie without sleeves, with a diagonal front zip fasten with 'Bad 8 Boy' in white on the back (He plays in a No 8 shirt for Man U) with baggy black trousers & Ola didn't wear much at all!!! but what there was, was baby blue & silver, think string bikini, with a but of fringing! Very sexy! The two had good chemistry on the floor, but Robbie did more posing & acting the role of bad boy than actual dancing, Ola provided most of the dancing movement, but he looked good!
The Judges Marks - Craig (2) Len (6) Alisha (6) Bruno (5) Total score 19
6) Anita Dobson & Robin - Dancing The Waltz, to 'Three Times A Lady' Anita wore a pretty, floaty, white backless evening dress, Robin black trousers, shirt & braces & a white long tie. Anita was very elegant & graceful & made it look effortless, but their performance didn't excite me, it lacked luster in some way.
The Judges Marks - Craig (7) Len (7) Alisha (7) Bruno (7) Total score 28
7) Russell Grant & Flavia - Dancing The Cha-cha-cha to 'Venus' (She's Got It) Russell Wore white trousers & a white shirt with a bit of sparkle, plus some silver/white iridescent eye-shadow! Flavia was in a sexy devilish red sequined mini dress, the performance was uber camp, with a devilish Flavia, releasing cherub like, Venus Russell out of a giant Clam Shell, And I have to say white is a slimming colour for Russell, who was surprisingly quick & light on his feet. The routine, was fast paced, fun, with lots of energy & enthusiasm, in fact it was my favourite dance of the night!!.... They saved the best for last!!
The Judges Marks - Craig (4) Len (5) Alisha (6) Bruno (6)
So that was the end of the 1st show, and how the 1st 7 Celebrity's did, But how did Brucie do Joke wise?
- Cringeworthy Jokes - 7
- OK Jokes - 4
- Good Jokes - 0
Must try a bit harder Brucie!! .... lets see if they improve over the series along with the Celebrity's dance skills!
Show Two, Saturday 1st October
The Show Starts, with Brucie in his usual black tie & tails & Co Host, Tess Daly in a one shouldered, black gown that's long on the right side with a kind of draped over skirt & short on the left, And 1st up, out of tonight's 7 celebrity's & starting off the second show in the new series was McFlys Drummer, Harry Judd....
1) Harry Judd & Aliona - Dancing The Cha-cha-cha, to 'I've Got The Moves Like Jagger' Harry wore a black short sleeved shirt edged with gold (The reverse of Artem's shirt, on the 1st dance on show 1) a black waistcoat, plus tight black trousers, Aliona, had a very skimpy sexy outfit on, which was basically a black spangled bra & asymmetrical flamenco skirt, edged in gold, attached at one side, to form a cut away dress. It was a smoldering performance, with lots of sexual chemistry! He had good posture, acted out the story well & looked very confident, I was impressed, this may be my favourite dance of the night, if not surpassed!
The Judges Marks - Craig (6) Len (7) Alisha (8) Bruno (7) Total score 28
2) Rory Bremner & Erin - Dancing The Waltz, to 'When Will I Hold You Again?' Rory in white tie & tails, Erin in a beautiful long floaty, silver & pail blue dress. Rory was Graceful & light on his feet. But I was distracted for the whole dance, by the inane, fixed, camp, smile on his face, that just didn't look natural!!
The Judges Marks - Craig (6) Len (7) Alisha (7) Bruno (7) Total score 27
3) Alex Jones & James - Dancing The Cha-cha-cha, to 'When Love Takes Over' Alex in a pretty short fringes silver dress, that didn't seem to have a lot of support inside, or under-wiring for her ample breasts. James had on tight tuxedo like black trousers & a white sleeveless white shirt, that had white & translucent stripes & was open to the waist. A fairly raunchy routine, but unlike Harry's dance you couldn't feel any sexual chemistry, between them. Somehow Alex's sexual desire, seemed somewhat focused on herself.
The Judges Marks - Craig (4) Len (6) Alisha (6) Bruno (6) Total score 22
4) Chelsee Healy & Pasha - Dancing The Waltz, to 'Will You Ever' Chelsee wore a very pretty baby pink evening dress (Though I felt her hairstyle & the bow in it, cheapened the overall look) Pasha wore black trousers, shirt & tails with a long pink tie. She was feminine, graceful, elegant & ladylike (Unlike how she'd sounded on her VT, when she unfortunately came across as a dumb chav) It will be interesting to see how she is with the Cha-cha-cha!
The Judges Marks - Craig (7) Len (6) Alisha (7) Bruno (7) Total score 27
5) Edwina Curry & Vincent - Dancing The Cha-cha-cha, to 'Build Me Up Buttercup' Edwina wore a knee length age appropriate red floaty dress, with floaty sleeves to hide the bingo wings. But OMFG did she have a fight with the make-up artist? Or did the make-up artist just hate Edwina? The make-up and hair was dreadful & made her look like a bad drag queen!! That coupled with a huge diamante droplet collar (Hiding turkey neck??) which made her look like she had no neck & a huge head, she looked more like a Spitting-Image puppet of herself (Awful) Vincent was in a matching red shirt & obligatory tight black trousers. Bless her she made an effort, her hips need a bit of oiling, before she'll improve on the Latin dances, but thanks to the make-up & hair, whenever she tried to portray sexy, she looked like a cross between Frankenfurter & Zelda Terrorhawk spotting a victim!
The Judges Marks - Craig (2) Len (5) Alisha (5) Bruno (5) Total score 17
6) Nancy Dell'Olio & Anton - Dancing The Waltz, to 'In Napoli' Nancy wore a beautiful, floaty, mint, evening gown. with a matching mint feather boa, which was quite apt as it's common knowledge that mint compliments mutton well!! Anton in white tie & tails. The routine started off with Nancy prone on a chaise fanning herself with a large black fan, looking haughty! Then Anton lead her to the dance floor, that's when it all went wrong! The feather boa, then produced a repeated costume malfunction, wrapping itself round Anton & Nancy's legs as they danced, as it hung, trailing from her. Why she (Why she didn't wrap it up away from the floor, or disregard straight away I don't know?) Eventually frustrated she thew it to the floor & they continued. But then she only got to do a few steps before Anton scooped her up! That couldn't of happened to a worse person. Nancy is the vainest & most competitive contestant, and craves adulation the most, the spoilt performance, must of hurt DEEP! Especially the one point from Craig!!
The Judges Marks - Craig (1) Len (4) Alisha (3) Bruno (4) Total score 12
7) Jason Donovan & Kristina - Dancing The Cha-cha-cha, to 'Gimme Some Loving' Jason in black trousers & black spangled shirt. Kristina half naked and super sexy in a bronze bikini top & fringed mini skirt, joined to form a sexy dance dress. Jason danced very well, he had good, fast movement, and looked very confident, but when did Jason start merging into Tony Blair facially?
The Judges Marks - Craig (8) Len (8) Alisha (8) Bruno (8) Total score 32
So that was the end of the 2nd show, and how the 2nd 7 Celebrity's did, But how did Brucie do Joke wise?
- Cringeworthy Jokes - 7
- OK Jokes - 3
- Good Jokes - 1
One Good Joke....... Didn't he do well!!!.... Now the real competition starts next week......
Show Three, Saturday 8th October
The Show Starts, with Brucie in his usual black tie & tails & Co Host, Tess Daly in a, gorgeous Black/Gunmetal knee length, skin tight, strapless, sequined dress (& her hair looked fab too!!) And 1st up, out of tonight's 14 celebrity's & starting off the third show in the new series is Chelsee Healy....
To Be Continued .......
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