Cleopatra?...... Oh Brother!!.... I'm Losing It!!...

Monday 21st March, Woke at 9am, nice sunny day out so I changed into dark grey & white TMC gym trousers, white vest top & B&W TrimSoles fitness fit flops, and went for my weekly 2hr walk in the Park, after a coffee & Oat so Simple 1st for breakfast. Then I went on to the Job Centre, to see if there were any new suitable local jobs to apply for? Then I went to the Library to print off my lines, to learn for tomorrows audition. I got home & checked my Hotmail, for responses for jobs/auditions, then updated Twitter & Facebook statuses and Chatted for a bit to *John C, he asked if I'd noticed him sat in the 'Is It Just Me' audience last Wednesday? I said 'To be honest we could only see some of the audience to our right the audience in front of us had big spotlights behind them, which were pointed at us 'The 50' so they were all in a dark silhouette so No I didn't see you!' 

I mentioned again that I had Friend Requested him on Facebook (again) in case like me, his friends, friend requests don't show up, like sometimes they don't, in my friend request section. Yet again he made no reference to that information, in his reply to me, hmmmm? We chatted about my blog (I'd sent him a link after he'd asked about it) I said he might even feature in it, so did he want his name or an *Alias to protect the innocent? He laughed & said 'Lol I'm far from innocent, but will take the *Alias!!'

Fixed myself a lunch of 2 Wholemeal Pittas, stuffed with King Prawns & Greek Salad, washed down with a caramel cappuccino, and watched 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' Then I did a load of job & audition searches, applying for a bunch. Then I went over & over my lines for my audition tomorrow. I can say them OK in my head, when I am memorising them, but get a bit tongue tied when saying them out loud (This is when a flatmate or boyfriend would be handy to rehearse my lines with!) I continued to try to memorise my lines, while downing a few Diet Cokes until 6.30pm & then watched 'Home & Away' & then I had another Pitta with King Prawns & Coleslaw ...Yummy.

I watched the soaps, then practiced my lines again, for the rest of the night, forgetting that Glee is on! I'm still getting tongue tied on one bit of dialogue!! The rest I can recall fine (Although I keep having an urge, on occasion, to refer to Coach Simpson, as as Chief Simpson) I went to bed at 1am & read the paper. The front page is the Top Guns strike on one of Gaddafi's Military Convoys. 

Dan On 'Take Me Out'

Kerry Katona is now supposedly dating 'Dan Foden' who was on last Saturdays 'Take Me Out' No doubt this is another CAN management smoke screen, to distract from her marriage wrecking romance with her boot camp, fitness trainer!! She has known Dan quite some time, as a friend. So I'm sure he would go along with a rouse, to distract attention from Kerry's true romance. Plus having the added bonus of getting himself a bit of fame at the same time! 

 Dan & Kerry

A bit on Jordan/Katie Prices new romance (bored by it now!) Then more on the search for poor Sian 22, who vanished on Saturday, after a night out with the girls. I have a horrible feeling it wont have a happy ending!! I finished the paper & my Decaf Coffee & then went off to sleep! (Calories consumed 1,608)

Tuesday 22nd March,  Woke at 9am, I can't recall any of my dream, I had a bath & hair wash, then had some cheese on toast for breakfast, washed down with a coffee. Today at 3.40pm I Audition for the part of Cleopatra in the film 'Malay' at The St Giles Hotel, Feltham, Middlesex, which is past Heathrow. I dried my hair with a full fringe and tendrils at the side & scooped the rest of my hair up in a high ponytail & added my long curly faux ponytail on top, did a aqua eyeshadow, with black liquid liner (In Homage to the OTHER Cleopatra!) with peach lip gloss. I wore my Peacock blue/green, Jane Norman, Jersey blouse, with my black studded jersey leggings, tucked into long, flat, black boots, with my aqua Jacques Vert short jacket, and a fine diamanté necklace with ethnic looking drop diamanté earrings. 

Went over my lines again & again, as I only had yesterday evening to learn them (I wonder how long the other auditionee's have had their scripts? Or if they were all contacted last minute like me?) I really need someone local to rehearse with, I don't know what the set up is there, so I rehearsed my lines sat at my table, as if it was my office desk (my audition peace is for Mrs Richardson, as it is for all the actresses over 35) With my cat draft excluder to my right as my secretary Natalie, and the big candle stick to my left, as Coach Simpson, with my script on the desk doubling as my papers & the notification. 

The Table I Rehearsed At, As My Desk

I fixed myself lunch a pitta filled with lentil salad and some Twiglets & a Diet Coke. Then at 12.45pm I set off for the station, packing a foldable umbrella in my bag, along with my script file, just in case the sky's opened up on me while I tried to find the hotel. I got the train from St Albans to Kings Cross, then I got the Northern Line to Waterloo, then it was onto a Slough train at Waterloo, to go the 13 stops to Feltham. The hotel was easy to find as it was right by the station. 

I was a bit early, but found my way to the hotel room, for the audition, on the 1st floor (As advertised on a bog board in reception) I knocked but nobody was there (not a surprise, as I assumed they would of been having a lunch break, until castings resumed from 3pm) A few minutes later a very smiley Indian guy arrived & asked if I was there for the audition? I said indeed I was & he ushered me inside, the room that was empty, all but for a chair & small table that another man came in & sat at, writing notes.


He told me I looked perfect for the part, he said that 'Cleopatra' was the beauty of the film (Bloody hell do I get free plastic surgery with the role??) He said she is a woman in mid 40's to 50's who looks good for her age. She is married to a rich influential man, and is a bit up her self & a snob, all the lead men lust after her & she knows it & leads them a merry dance! He asked had I learnt the lines? I said 'I only got them yesterday, I know most, but I get a bit tongue tied on one of the longer pieces of dialogue!' The guy said he really liked my look, my sparkling eyes, my smile & my hair (Will you tell him or should I? lol) He made me hold up a card with my name & my character 'Cleopatra' on, then stand holding it up facing him & his Camera/Camcorder then facing left, right & with my back to him. 

He asked me of my acting experience & he asked if I'd acted in the Theatre before? I said 'No the closest I have come to acting on stage was with a Amateur Dramatics Group about 20+ years ago!!' Then he asked me to say the lines to camera, with nobody to play the coach or the secretary, which was a bit disconcerting, with nobody to respond to. I was tempted to see if maybe I could take the table & chair off the other guy, as a prop to do it, as I'd done at home, but as the guy was taking notes at it, I thought maybe best not!!


I did my lines into the Camcorder, but with nobody to bounce off & no props, it was harder to get into character, and a couple of times, I got tongue tied over the dialogue, that was getting me tongue tied at home (I could of done with a rehearsal buddy, near me at home) He said I could do it using the script, but looking down to the words for the tongue tied bit, kind of diluted the acting bit, and I was almost tempted to say 'Captain' instead of 'Coach' once or twice. I wished I could of switched 'Coach Simpson' for 'Coach Smith' as it rolled off the tongue easier (As they were NOT Cleopatra's lines anyway!!) I wished I'd been contacted sooner & had at least a day, or two more, to learn my lines in, as I knew my performance today was way off my ability's!!


The Director said not too worry too much about my lines, as they were Not Cleopatra's lines & I could have a 'acting master-class' with him before the filming began, to ensure my 'Cleopatra's lines' were embedded in my mind, before I went in front of the camera. Which I said would be great! He said that would be no problem, before adding ' If you get the part of course!!' But I felt the fact he was thinking that, was at the very least promising! He then asked me to walk towards him with a stuck up attitude look on my face, give the camera a disparaging look & then stroll off away from camera again. Which he got me to do a few times, he said he loved my look, attitude & movements. 

He then asked if I could slip off my jacket, to see my figure better? Then I had to do a few more attitude walks & then pretend I was holding a cigarette, stroll back & forth pretend to take a drag of the cigarette & repeat a comment he asked me to say (which typing this 6 days later I can't recall) He said he loved my look, which was ideal for the part, & my smile & attitude. He said 'goodbye' adding to fill in my details, on the form on the desk, by the lifts, in the foyer outside, which I did. 

Then it was back on the train to Waterloo, then the tube to Kings Cross, getting to Kings Cross Northern Line at 4.05pm. Giving me just under an hour to get to my 5pm Acupuncture appointment, in the good old days Id just have a flight of stairs to go down from the tube get on a Thames Link train to St Albans. But now after the refit to make it into, Kings Cross International, there are now, several long escalators & long walks, to get out of the underground area, then a long concord of shops to walk past, before getting to the overground trains! 

I got to the barriers & inserted my ticket, but it wasn't working, I was told by the guard that I couldn't use it until after 7pm, I'd have to get an extension ticket, If I wanted to get the train now!! WTF?? Apparently I have an Off Peak ticket & it's now 4.25pm & Peak Time is 4.20 - 7pm! Well it had taken me bloody 20mins (at a fast pace!!!) To get from Kings Cross, Northern line tube, to my overground train barriers, due to the stations shit design!!! And why the fuck is 4.20pm 'Peak Time?' Most jobs finish at 5 or 6pm so Peak Time should be 5-7pm it's a bloody rip off, cash cow, they should not make Peak Time any earlier than 4.45pm (For getting those who might leave work, a tad earlier!!)


So I went to the ticket office, taking up more time, meaning it was unlikely I'd get to my acupuncture appointment on time, Grrrrr!!  I was charged a £4.50 single ticket, from Elstree Borehamwood to St Albans. As the zones 1-6 on my travel card ticket, are not affected by the Peak Time prices (So really only non Londoner, commuters are really hit by Peak Time fares then!) £4.50 Which is bullshit as that's the price of a single ticket at Off Peak hrs, between St Albans & Elstree (You are not telling me that at Peak Times the two stops from Elstree to St Albans costs £9) I have already paid £4.50 each way from St Albans to Elstree & back again, on my London Travel Card ticket. I should only be charged the difference between a £4.50 Single Off Peak ticket from Elstree to St Albans & a Single Peak Time ticket from Elstree to St Albans & I do NOT believe the price is double!!! My audition has now cost me £19.50 instead of £15, as I had my 5pm Doc appointment, so I couldn't kill time until 7pm & save myself that extra £4.50!

Due to these delays, despite me walking like a power walker on speed. I got to the Doctors 15mins late at 5.15pm, but I had my acupuncture, which yet again, hurt like hell!! But hopefully we are starting to get somewhere now, he said he'd see me in 2 weeks time & I headed home, hungrily munching on a bag of Wotsits!! I got in Watched 'Home & Away' then fixed dinner. A grilled & cubed tuna steak & had it in a wholemeal pitta, with lentil salad & green olives. Yummy!! 

Then I updated my Facebook & Twitter statuses, then I checked my Hotmail & discovered that, Award Winning Photographer Philip Gatwood, had given me a recommendation on StarNow saying  'Very professional and a team player. Highly recommended.'  After my Automatic Weapon Modelling Shoot, which I thought was really nice of him!

I chatted a bit to *John C on Facebook (who still hasn't accepted my friend request!?) He asked how the audition went & asked if I could meet up in Reading? I said sorry but, the added audition expenses had done me in financially, so I think I will have to take a rain check, unless situations change!!

Then I read the paper, front page news is that Madman Gaddafi's son, Khamis has been killed, by a Libyan pilot. The poor boyfriend of missing Sian is saying 'It's breaking our hearts not knowing where she is!' It must be awful for him & her parents! A Postmaster husband, who murdered his wife & made it look like a raid gone wrong, killed her, due to her multiple affairs. On a amusing note, pranksters are driving supermarket shelf stacker's crazy, by a new game, using letters on spice pots, to spell out rude words, posting the results on Facebook, in the latest Supermarket Scrabble Craze lol I like!!

The Royal Mail are axing 3,500 jobs, it's said that cuts will raise fears over quality of the Royal mail. But I doubt it will make much difference! My mail service has been bad for years, with both not receiving stuff that I have been sent, or stuff that I have sent not being received (You just see recent grief from brother about that!! To know the grief it causes) I even had problems with my post, when I lived in Bounds Green, North London, which my local MP 'Michael Portillo' tried to get sorted out for me! 

 Katie Piper

 Katie Price

Apparently, Katie Price, dumped Alex, over his dress sense. I have to admit, he did dress badly most of the time. Then I watched the 1st of this weeks 'Supersize V Superskinny Kids' on Ch4, they have such irresponsible parents. Then 'Katie: My Beautiful Friends', about the brilliant Katie Piper, ironically shown at the same time, that Katie Price's new show, on Sky, is being aired. So Twitter was full of Katie comments. Then I watched 'Shit My Dad Says' on Five Star, which was followed by 'Lilly Allen: From Riches To Rags' on Ch4+1, then 'The Big C' I then read the rest of the paper, before crashing out for the night! (Calories consumed 1,527)



Wednesday 23rd March, I woke at 9am I'd dreamt about being out with an ex Gideon, also something about my Mum & Dad shopping, but for some reason, they would only buy things that were Black & White, and my mum was buying some burlesque like lingerie. I woke wondering what the hell that was about?? Elizabeth Taylor has died aged 79, my mum looked a lot like Elizabeth Taylor when she was young, like her as a teen in 'National Velvet' and like her in 'Cat On a Hot Tin Roof' when older.   

Elizabeth As A Teen In - National Velvet

Mum At 15yrs Old

Elizabeth Taylor In - Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

My 1st Christmas With Mum

I had sugar free Alpen & a coffee for breakfast, had a wash & did natural make-up & tied hair up in high pony tail, after I'd massaged some Satura Pro into my scalp. I wore my cropped khaki jersey lounge pants with my white, scoop necked Petite Bateau, long sleeved T-shirt, with my B&W TrimSoles & khaki sleeveless body warmer. Took down the nets at my kitchen window & door & swapped for clean ones, putting the dirty ones in the wash (I'm not a fan of nets, but as so many undesirables these days, tend to wander into my courtyard, I need them for privacy!) 

 
I did a bit more weeding in the garden & cleared away more cans, bottle, sweet wrappers & the sandwich packs dropped in my courtyard by the lovely general public & bin-men (THANKS!!!) I did the washing up, with fairy Pomegranate & Honeysuckle washing up liquid (red colour) It made the whole kitchen smell lovely, then I fixed lunch, a cheese & lentil salad sandwich & a packet of Wotsits washed down with a Diet Coke, which I ate it while watching 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County'

Tamra Barney

Tamra Barney was being a right bitch, trying her very best at her supposed etiquette dinner party, with the help of her son Luke, to get Gretchen (in Tamra's words) 'Naked Drunk' obviously down to jealousy, that now that 10yrs younger Gretchen has come along, that she has lost/is losing 'The Hottest OC Housewife Crown' Wanting Gretchen to get drunk & maybe get off with her son, or hit on other guys at do. So she could accuse Gretchen of being with her OLDER fiancé (who's dying of Leukaemia) for his money & brand her a gold digger, when Gretchen is in fact, so sweet & genuine! And I tweeted on Twitter about Tamra trying to get Gretchen Drunk. 

 Drunken Gretchen

I was surprised & delighted when, shortly after Gretchen DM'd me on Twitter. I wrapped up my 4 eBay sales & packaged up Andrews two Christmas presents & Alex's Christening present & card, plus his Christmas present into a box & took with the eBay parcels to the Post office (as Bill never came down south for me to give to him & I'm too broke to send all the Xmas presents for his family in one go) Especially as I have to send via registered post, as obviously a few items have not arrived, that I have sent. No doubt he will surmise I have only just bought them, well if he does, sod him! I sent him the lightest package 1st & that cost me £5.95 that I can ill afford!

I got back did a bit of gardening, then fixed myself a dinner of grilled tuna steak, with green leaf & 3 bean salad, plus a Diet Coke to wash it down with. I then did some job searches & checked my emails & found a email from the producers of  'Is It Just Me' saying I'd played my part to perfection & it looks very promising that the show will be commissioned, so they would like to keep me on file to contact to be 1 of 'The 50' should it be made for TV!! Great that sounds very promising! 

I chatted a bit to *John C on Facebook, he asked if I was up for meeting him tomorrow? I said I'd like to, but due to spending £19.50 on fares for my audition Tuesday & then having to fork out another £15 for fares on Saturday for the 'Losing It' premier & backers meeting. I just don't have any cash to spend for travel to Reading. He said he would have to investigate Reading alone then. He seems nice, normal & genuine, yet two things are still bugging me. 1) Why do I know his profile pic from before he messaged me? (I have a photographic memory, especially for pictures) & also 2) Why has he ignored my friend request? He said it was a good Idea when I 1st mentioned it & ignored the subject when I mentioned I'd sent it again on Monday! Has he something to hide? Something's not quite adding up somewhere!


I watched 'Home & Away' I didn't feel hungry enough for a proper dinner, I was just a bit peckish, so just had a big bowl of Alpen. I did the washing up & watered the plants. Watched 'Supersized V Superskinny Kids' How can those parents allow their kids to be so fussy & starve/gorge themselves to that state? I have to say the sliced sections of real dead body's (Damion Hurst style) One normal, one fat & one skinny are fascinating!! Then I watched 'The Truth about Lions' followed by TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) The two new girls Chloe & Gemma are just Odd!! Mark proposed to Deluded Super Bitch, Lauren. That will last shorter than a pair of 10denier stockings worn working on a building site!! The best reaction to the news was Arg's. shame poor lovely Lucy had to get hurt tho! 

I got a text from my friend Stephanie Ledigo at 9pm saying 'R u busy Friday drinks in Soho???Xx' Damn I'd love to go but too broke!! I text back 'I'd love to hun but sadly I'm too low on funds this time!! XX' Then I watched that shite 'The Model Agency' as there was bugger all else on! Carole White was asked to choose from 3 of the entry's of 'America's Next Top Model' in last Saturdays Buzz Magazine, the 3 models were Chelsey Hersley 23 (A skinny, yellow, bleached, blonde with hard features) Jane Randall 19, (A beautiful, slender, honey blond) & Anne Ward 19 (A pretty Auburn haired girl with a revoltingly distorted malnourished, skeletal looking body) who did Carole White pick as to who she'd sign up?..... Yep!! The skeletal, dead woman walking Ann Ward!! YUCK!! nice face shame about the skeleton! 

Ann Ward - America's Next Top Model?

More people text & emailed me saying Louie Spence's Showbusiness has got repetitive & boring & they wished the gang & I were in it, to liven it up! I read the paper Madman Gaddafi has broken cover & continued to slaughter his own people! A bit by Jane Moore on 'Harlem-Laren' the moronic, worthless, piece of shit, nobody on 'Jamie Oliver's 'Dream Team' on Ch4, who will no doubt end up in a young offenders unit, a jail, working as a prostitute or drug dealer, or dead in a few years time! 

Still Think An Oriental Diet Is Healthy?

Family & friends of missing Sian O'Callaghan searched the woods where her mobile phone signal died, I just hope she didn't meet the same fate, but I think sadly she has! There was also the horrific pics of the Chinese 3yr old (see above) who ways 9st & wont stop eating!! Think he needs to go on Supersize V Superskinny. I spent the rest of the night finishing last weeks blog, I will add pictures & check grammar tomorrow! Got ready for bed & applied the Satura Pro & Satura Rosta & crashed out at around 1am (Calories consumed 1,396)

Thursday 24th March,  I woke at 9am, to a beautiful sunny day, had a wash & massages Satura Pro into my scalp, got on the scales my weight has stayed stable, changed into my dark grey & white 3/4 gym trousers, my white long sleeved Petite Bateau T-shirt, my silver grey cardigan & my white sleeveless body warmer & B&W TrimSoles, then after some sugar free Alpen & some coffee for breakfast I went for a 2hr walk in the park, in the sunshine. My neck & shoulders still ache but not as bad since last 2 acupuncture sessions, so I think next week is when I start hitting the gym again like I use to, and get back to a size 8-10 again, ready for summer!!.... Bill should get his package today, or tomorrow, it's recorded delivery, so unlike Alex's 1st Birthday Card it can't get lost! (Well at least I hope it can't!)


I hung my clean nets up to dry, then did some household chores then popped to the shop for a paper & some diet cokes. Nicky text me, about a mutual friend, who is being a bit neurotic at the moment! I watched 'Loose Women' & '60 Minute Makeover' they have a new female presenter on 60MM which is putting me off watching. I have no idea who she is? But she is bloody awful!! She has appalling posture & stands like a hunchback. She asks really boring mundane question's, she has no personality whatsoever, and a awful droning monotone voice, that makes you want to self harm, to drown it out!! Who the hell is she blackmailing/blowing to get this gig??  

I made a Egg Mayo sandwich & had with some Branston mini Cheddars & a decaf Diet Coke, and watched 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' I did some job searches & applications & spent the rest of the afternoon finishing off last weeks blog & posting it! I discovered I had a Direct Message from my friend *Jonty at 5.15pm saying 'My ex read your blog. She wants to pick you up in her Bentley and take u to Soho for lunch, She isn't a lezbo, but really likes you and finds you interesting. She just finds you fascinating. What do you think? Reply via email. xxx' I have to say that's one of my more unusual messages for quite some time! He made me laugh by reassuring she me that she wasn't a lesbian, as a fag Hag I am hardly likely to be uncomfortable about it, even if she was gay! Sent him a email, saying unusual message, tell me more!!? Jennie called me up & asked me to come over hers at 8pm, so at 7pm I made a tuna steak, with green & three bean salad for dinner.

Got to Jennies at 8pm & heard all about her night out with the school mums, Edgar & the darts team & the church committee events. Soooo not my kinda thing! Had a coffee with a Caramel Chunky KitKat. Watched 'Supersized V Superskinny Kids' the Supersized Indian girl was a brat!! Missed 'Love Thy Neighbour' this week as 'My Big Fat fake Wedding: Panorama' was on. 


Watched 'Celebrity Juice' which was very, very funny. I left Jennies & headed home at midnight, I'd received a text from my brother Bill, earlier at 10.33pm saying 'We got your presents 2day june. Thanx x'  Well I didn't bother answering, as he didn't bother to, when I text him last Wednesday, and I hardly have any credit left, so I'm only using when necessary! I got home took off make-up & did my Satura Pro & Rosta routine & then went to bed and read the paper. The budget and Elizabeth Taylor's Death was the front page news. Also yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far, at 62-64 Deg Fahrenheit. Cops reckon they may find Sian today & hopefully alive! They think she may have been picked up by a rouge cabbie or someone who knew her.  (Calories consumed 1,594)

Friday 25th March, I woke at 8.30am to a beautiful bright sunny day (ooh maybe this year we will have a good summer?) I dreamt that I was working as a beauty Concession Manager again, but in America, and I was working with my Greek friend Nikki & Candie again. I was clearing out a draw of rubbish left by the last Manager. I was going somewhere with Candie, carrying a carrier bag full of paperwork, when I suddenly panicked that I'd forgotten my purse!! But found it after rummaging under the papers, then I was with Jennie & I had received a mobile phone bill, in the hundreds of pounds & I was Irate, as I'm on 'Pay As You Go' & I said "if you have gone beyond your, credit they should not let you call, so you top up not continue to let you text & unknowingly run up a massive bill!!" Woke & wondered what the hell that was about?

 Reiss Vest Top

TrimSoles

I had a shower, then massaged Satura into my scalp, tied my hair up in a high tight ponytail & did a natural make-up, then dressed in my khaki cropped, jersey lounge pants, with one beige jersey camisole top & pistachio, Reiss jersey Vest tops, and my B&W TrimSoles. I popped to the shop for the paper & two Diet Cokes, lovely & warm out like a April/May spring day. Got back in made some sugar free Alpen & a coffee for breakfast. Then went out into my courtyard, did some more weeding, watered the plants & cleared the huge amount of litter. But as I don't have a broom, I couldn't sweep the courtyard of the 1000+ fag butts the loiterers drop there (I don't even soddin smoke!) I was really pleased with the finished result of my little bit of garden.


I went back in at 3.40pm to watch 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' then did a bit of garden pruning, then had a veggie sausage & boiled egg sandwich, with some Twiglets, washed down with a Diet Coke, then watched 'Come Dine With Me' & 'Home & Away' My mobile went just as it started & it showed up as my brother Bill's wife Karen. I answered it and it was my little nephew Andrew, calling to thank me for his Christmas present, he wasn't on long, but was sweet, guess Bill/Karen got him too. (Maybe Bill feels a tiny bit remorseful for his harsh words now?) Then after some housework it was dinner time & I grilled a tuna steak & had with green leaf & 3 bean salad, washed down with a Diet coke. Mike called me at 7.45pm they'd been away with their son Ryan to Disneyland, chatted for a bit & then Watched 'Supersized V Superskinny Kids' How can parents go so long allowing their kids to starve/gorge themselves without intervening? Which ones the kid & who the parent??!! 

I was invited out for drinks in Soho with the lovely Stephanie Ledigo, who is my friend who Co-manages 'The Daylight Theory' Shame I'm so brassic, I'd of loved to have caught up, I'm near hers in Brick Lane tomorrow, but she's busy with The Band doing a gig. Shame the premier wasn't on Friday (today) I could of gone there 1st & then gone on to Soho & met up with Steph & the band afterwards! I was having a coffee & some Wotsits at 10.36pm when Simon Cole text me, saying 'EMP!!!!!! Can you please come to London tomorrow, for drinks in Soho...... I want to have drinks & giggles with you!!!!! X'  How funny, so I can do my Film Premier tomorrow & meet Simon in Soho after, just like I'd just said, I'd of liked to have done with Steph!! ... I text him back saying I would be in London tomorrow to see a premier of a short film I'm in, so I could meet him in Soho prob from 9pm, but brassic so can't afford a late one!!

Simon Cole

My friend Ian had to give one of his model boarder / house-mate, a months notice, as her room was a mess, with stuff everywhere, with dirty plates of food & Chihuahua poo all over the bedroom floor that had been there for days. Well that and stuff left all over the flat, and plates etc piled high, unwashed, and although he pointed out (politely) that those issues needed addressing. Sadly the filth just continued, until he felt he had no choice but to give her a months notice (If only her male NUTS fans knew how filthy she was, but not in the way they'd like her to be! - they'd be shocked!!) It really pained Ian to have to tell her to go, especially as he loved her little dog (in spite of the poo all over the floor, which wasn't the dogs fault, as he was locked in the bedroom for hrs, with no walks to, go to poo/wee) Why she didn't get a litter tray, for the room, I don't know? Anyway ever since he gave her notice, she has been acting a bit odd, at home & on Twitter and posting cryptic Tweets, or ones as if she is about to commit suicide! Really melodramatic!! Today's ones were obviously aimed at him. Honestly honey if you were not so skanky & unhygienic you'd still be a tenant!!


Chilled with the paper, that poor pretty girl Sian O'Callighan, has been found murdered, 6 days after she went missing, after going clubbing with her girlfriends last Saturday. A 47yr old cabbie has been held accused with her abduction & murder, it's said he has confessed to a 2nd woman in the same area in 2001. There is also a 5 page special on The Night Stalker, in the paper, Britain's worse sex attacker. Who picked on the old & frail, one a woman of 89yrs, this sick bastard was also a cabbie. I have written in a earlier blog how I think I had a lucky escape, when I think was in, sex attacker John Worboys cab once, many years ago!


Repulsive  squatter Jason Ruddik mentioned in earlier blogs, plus 7 others quit a £4Million house, as it was not plush enough (cheeky c**ts!!) saying it didn't have any modern amenity's, complaining the Hampstead house didn't have a swimming pool, he admitting he'd become accustomed to squatting in luxury apartments. He added "this one didn't work out, I want somewhere posher!!" Cheeky git I wonder how much damage his skanky crew did to the £4Million mansion & how much rubbish had to be cleared away!! I also heard via Twitter, that Mylene Klass has named her new baby GIRL, Hero Harper Klass WTF!!? Poor kid!!  & then went to bed at 3.30am (Calories consumed 1,502)

Saturday 26th March, Woke at 6.50am....thanks to Orange Mobile Network, texting me to say 'I have won 5 new photo messages' (oh great, whoopee doo!! My present cheap phone doesn't even take photos!!) Bloody texting me in the wee hrs of a Saturday, what the hell were they thinking?? Sod Off!!.... I did recall my dream on waking, which I know was quite complex, but both FireFox & Internet Explorer were not responding on my note book, so by the time I could get into this blog, I have forgotten it, except for the fact Bournemouth & Pool in Dorset was in it somewhere Grrrrrrrrr!! 

I went back to sleep until 10am & then lounged in bed until noon, listening to the radio. Then I got up made a coffee & ran a bath, then checked my emails while it filled & drank my coffee. Had a bath & exfoliated myself & removed hard skin from feet (oooh sexy lol!) moisturised & then washed my hair, rubbed the Satura Pro into my Scalp before drying my hair. Dried hair straight with a full fringe, dressed like I did for 'Cleopatra' audition as its colder again today, the sky looks grey & I think it may be raining, when I set off to the 'Losing It' screening later (bugger!!) 

I did my make-up with a iridescent peacock green eyeshadow, by Barry M & a aqua Versace liquid liner, with toffee lip gloss!! I popped to the shop to get a paper, but they'd sold out so popped to Tesco's for one. I got in had brunch of Quorn in a cheese & herb sauce, on a bed of crushed new potatoes in their skins, to keep me going until tonight, as Angus had said the Premier of 'Losing It' was catered. My friend *Jonty had messaged me on my hotmail (re his unusual Twitter inbox Thursday) saying 'Basically one of my ex's has been following me on twitter and finds you fascinating. She wants to take you to lunch, just to get to know you. xxxx'  Which was somewhat unusual, to be honest, but nice to know someone, other than a horny man, finds me interesting! Who knows, we might have a lot in common, I messaged back 'Well to offer to pick me up & buy me lunch, she obviously knows how broke I am at the moment lol, and if she has a Bentley I'm sure she has a much more interesting life than me, but what the hell why not? If she dated you I'm sure she must be a nice girl!' Then I put hair up in a high ponytail & put my long curly fake ponytail over the top! *Jonty got back to me a while later saying Good. My twitter account is all fucked up at the moment J but hopefully I'll get the IT geek at work on the case on Monday. She is the real deal and just really finds you so fascinating. She loves your blog too.Next time you are in London, give her a few days notice and she'll meet you and take you for lunch.*Jonty xxxx  Which sounds fare enough but hard to do until he gives me her name & mobile/email details, lol.


I did a few online surveys to kill time before setting off at 5.30pm for the station, putting a foldable umbrella in my bag, just in case. Text Simon Cole en route to station to see if he is still up for meeting in Soho?? He said sadly plans had changed & he wouldn't be coming into London adding 'I want to see ya soon though we need a good giggle' Seconds later Ian called me, asking if I was on my into London? I said "Yeah just at the station now!" he asked if I was up for meeting up in Soho after the premier? I said "Yep!!" He said 'Great I know Simon is dying to see you again!!' 

I said I'd just spoken to Simon he wasn't coming into London now!! Ian was saying how he was dressed in Lesbian Drag for his lesbian friends birthday, who was having an 'L' themed night, he said if he had more cash he'd of got a virgina costume as 'L' for Labia I laughed & said 'Maybe just as well, they'd all be saying you looked a right Cu*t all night!!' He laughed & said 'Yeah your right!!'

I Jumped on the semi fast train to Kings Cross, then got the circle line to Liverpool Street & got to the Premier venue at 7pm, said "Hello" to Angus. He introduced me to the backer, a small Indian guy who I chatted to for a while & I also got chatting to my two other witch co stars, in 'The Fortune Teller" Sarah (a rather Marilyn Monroe like blonde) who's name was Dorsett (quite a coincidence, as I was dreaming of Pool & Bournemouth last night) and also a Greek/Italian looking Francesca. 

I also bumped into Nigel who played an airman in 'Losing It' and was in the pub at the 'Losing It' rap party. The Girls & I got stuck into the Carva, as there was a big free bar, but there was NONE of the catering, that Angus had mentioned in prior emails (I wished I'd put some snacks in my bag!!) The girls & I were talking about Fate, Tarot, Ghosts, Premonitions etc due to it's connection, to the next film of Angus's 'The Fortune Teller' that we are all in. 

Later Angus got up & did a speech, I don't know if it was due to nerves, the beer or the recent sunny weather? But Angus had a face as red as his hair & beard!! Speech over he sat on the front row, with Francesca, Sarah & I, and watched the film. It was really quite funny, and made sense of some of the odd stuff we had to do in our rolls, I spotted myself in my unattractive blue overall & bun in quite a few shots, when it was finished it got a rousing round of applause. Did some more schmoozing & Ian called at 8.50pm to see if I was coming yet? I said doing a bit more socializing then I'd be heading into town.


I chatted some more & asked Sarah if she wanted to come to Soho with me?? She said normally she would, but she had a hot date tomorrow so wanted an early night! Nigel piped up he'd come, just as Ian called again at 9.50pm (Blimey where did that hr go?) He said they were now in the other Ku Bar off Shaftsbury Avenue. I said I was just heading off & I'd see him soon! We walked back down to Liverpool Street Station & got the circle line to Kings Cross, then changed for the Piccadilly line to get to Liecester Square. We passed the original Ku Bar & went to Shaftsburry Avenue, walking up & down trying to find the 'Other Ku Bar' with No Joy!! So I asked a bouncer outside a club/bar in Shaftsbury Avenue, where the 'OTHER' Ku Bar in Shaftsbury Avenue was? NOT the one in Soho!! I followed his instructions & found myself outside the original Ku Bar 'IN SOHO!!" FFS!!!!

 The Ku Bar, We Were Looking For

 The Ku Bar, they Directed Us Back To!

I text Ian & he called back, saying he thought I wasn't coming & was now in 'GAY Late' Why did he think I wasn't coming? I'd said I was on my way, when he last called (The journey from the East End to Central London, takes a while) I said never mind, I was pretty tired (and absolutely bloody starving!! As there was no food catering at the Premier, only a Free Bar!!) So I headed back on the Piccadilly line back to Kings Cross. My train wasn't until another 30mins so I rushed to Costa Coffee & got a Tuna Salad Sandwich, which I devoured like a famine victim!! I was still ravenous when I got to St Albans & knowing that my fridge was bare, I got a Halumi wrap & a portion of French fries, at the Turkish Kebab restaurant near the station & attacked it with vigor, on the way home!! The wrap did the job, so 90% of the Chips ended up, uneaten in my fridge, to get heated up in microwave tomorrow. Then crashed out in bed (not even removing my make-up!!) shattered!! (Calories consumed 1,729)

Sunday 27th March, I woke at 6.30am (Which with the clocks moved forward, is now 7.30am) My bad neck & shoulders is back bugger!! Well I'm not letting that ruin my plans, to get back in the gym next week!!! I downed a load of pain killers, from my bedside draw & tried with difficulty to get comfortable enough in bed, to sleep again!! Eventually I fell asleep again & then woke at 10.30am (which is now 11.30am) With my neck & shoulders in so much pain I want to cry, which was not putting me in a good nor friendly mood. I'm not sure I will be able to wait until 2 weeks, for my next acupuncture session. I might pop down this Tuesday, to see if he can fit me in? The pain is so bad I feel physically sick, also think I may have a cold coming too!! As I am really struggling to breathe today, my sinuses & adenoids are making me feel like I'm suffocating, just like when I had pneumonia!! If I dreamt last night I can't recall it? Got up & got on my scales & I have lost 1/4lb since Thursday.

Eventually got myself together in baggy Khaki lounge pants & beige vest top around noon, putting me way behind schedule, to do all of the things, that I had planned to do today!! My neck & shoulder pain was also going to hinder the progress of that too!! I piled hair up into bun & didn't bother with make-up as felt too rough to bother due to the pain. I had some Alpen for breakfast, after buying some milk & a NOTW from the shop & swept kitchen floor with dust pan & brush & mopped it, cleaned bathroom, did washing up, cleaned kitchen surfaces cupboards. Washed my faux fur bed throw in the bath as its too big to fit in the machine & the launderette in my street, where I use to do it, is closed down now. Then I hung it over two stands outside to dry in the sun. Hoovered the lounge, bedroom, hall & stairs, then ironed my clean sheets, pillowcases & duvet cover & re made my bed.

Stopped for a coffee & some Branston Pickle Mini Cheddars, & some more painkillers & quickly checked my Hotmail, Twitter & Facebook. I had lots of messages from people on Facebook & Twitter saying I was on the repeat of 'John Bishops Britain' last night talking about Diets & also in a clip on 'Harry Hills TV Burp' in a clip taken from the OMG cougar convention (lol) while on Facebook I added Sarah, Franchesca & Nigel. 

Then I started sorting some of the things I'd piled in my bedroom, lounge & on my upstairs landing, but it was causing me too much pain in my neck, shoulders & arms, so I had to stop. I took some more pain killers, then warmed up last nights chips to eat. As I was in too much pain to be able to enjoy a full meal! Later I watched myself on 'Harry Hills TV Burp' then watched the Final of 'Dancing On Ice' writing my critique of it as I typed (which you can read HERE!!) Had to lay down after as the pain in my neck, shoulders & arms, was so bad I felt weak & absolutely shattered!! Went to bed & watched the film 'Infamous' then went to sleep, as I felt so bloody awful!! (Calories consumed 1,138)

Another Week & Another Beautiful Month?

This is probably going to be a lot briefer than my normal weekly blogs as most of this week was taken up writing last weeks blog of a very fun packed & Camp as Fook week!!

Monday 31st Jan, I was still awake at 7am unable to sleep even though tired, just felt like I was drifting off at 7.30am when my phone went, it was the plumber saying "I hope I didn't wake you but I can come fix your taps in 20mins if your in?" I said he hadn't woken me as I'm yet to fall asleep!! He said "well if you let me in & go back to bed, I'll be quiet as possible & lock up after myself & post your keys back through your door!" Sounded like a plan so put on a nightie & dressing gown to let him in. Plumbers from my letting agents are normally pensioners or fat middle aged men, so didn't mind him seeing me dog rough & bleary eyed!! He turned up 'young & cute' bloody typical!! Went back to bed & true to his word he was as quiet as a mouse, but I still didn't fall asleep until he quietly dropped my keys through my door at 8.30 am

Woke at 11.30am & had a bath & hair wash now that my taps were working (heaven!!) dried hair, had some Special K, Red Berry's plus a coffee for breakfast & popped to the park with Stan & Betty, for a few hrs to get some exercise. My neck still in excruciating pain, at least it's just over a week until my Acupuncture, so hopefully some release soon!! Bought a paper on the way home & got in & made a prawn curry for lunch (with lots of chilli's to burn more calories) & a diet coke. Did some laundry & housework then got stuck into writing last weeks blog (so much to tell!!) Very excited that Blue are The UK's Eurovision Entry 2011 (for once someone decent!) Then read the paper. 

The front page tells of Anarchists planning to target Prince Williams marriage to Kate. What morons, as if there wont be enough grief with terrorists trying to use it for a massive attack!! Meanwhile 30,000 Brits are stuck in Egypt, while all hell lets loose over there. Gangs are digging night and day to raid pyramids (Mummy's are being destroyed in the grave robbing frenzy) what a awful fate for such amazing ancestry!! News of Lesbian rumours about Rihanna (who cares bi, straight, gay, whatever!!) Piers Morgan's US chat show 75%. He is paying the price, of being a fawning ass licker, the clip of him, smarming all over Opra Winfrey, asking to touch her, made me cringe!!

Clip Of Piers Interviewing Opra 

More news of teens shot & stabbed at a party (seems to be a daily occurrence these days!!) Plus 3 teens died in a Joy ride smash, no pity for them the criminal scum, my only sympathy is for the owner of the car they smashed up! Charlie Sheen is said to of lost all his teeth due to drugs & has gold implants with caps on (someone else I have no pity for)

Charlie Sheen, Looking More Like A OAP By The Day

I wasn't hungry enough for a meal at 6pm so had a Twiglets & Chunky Kit Kat snack,  Then continued with my blog while keeping eye out for Twitter & Facebook messages in other windows, I didn't get the Vogue photo shoot job in the end, that's running from 1st-3rd of Feb. Chatted a bit to Stephs new band Daylight Theory (3 ex Starman members) you can follow them on Twitter @Daylighttheory. I asked them where the band name Daylight Theory came from? They told me at 6.20pm "Steph thought of it. we wanted something with daylight in it, as we feel like we are stepping into the daylight" To keep up to date with Daylight Theory click on:-  http://thedaylighttheory.com/  For all the latest Band News

My ex (of over 10yrs ago) Kieron text at 6.25pm saying "Fancy a mid-afternoon piss over some time this week" which was somewhat unexpected, didn't reply as didn't know what I was doing yet, re OMG filming etc!? Also I don't have any phone credit & I still owe £300 in Electric as idiot Landlords forgot me for 3/4's so charged me all 3 at once! plus £650 for last Months rent & this months is due too! So no cash to spend on things like phone credit!


Spoke a bit more online to Daylight Theory on Twitter, I asked what made them decide to break away & the answer was "The main reason was wanting to play live. Definitely x" I replied "What?? couldn't you do that with Starman??" & the reply was "No!! and Andrew had issues with Steph too" I replied "Omg along with the camaraderie, the feedback reaction of an audience when playing live is the best bit of being in a band!!" to which their reply was "Hit the nail on the head ;) "


Watched the Soaps & 'The Biggest Loser', nobody lost much this week, some lost nothing at all!! Couldn't face the moronic Tools on tool Academy this week, so sat through another episode of Episodes, still only mildly amusing at best! 

 Episodes

Had some Special K as I had the munchies, then I watched the Chatty Man, that I'd missed last week, with Kerry Katona on it & James Cordon (who gets right on my tits) it wasn't as good a show as usual. Then I ended up watching the Brand New 'Apprentice USA' double bill at 12.20am after my remote control accidentally flipped to it, as I was turning off the TV, so I ended up settling down to sleep at 2.10am (Calories Consumed 1,657)

Tuesday 1st Feb, Had a bizarre dream about Davina McCall I had gone to her home with a man & her house was on top of a tree that was encased in a huge hedge, a overpass like path led to the top of the tree & the house and the flat, trimmed, flat, tree top height hedge made a bouncy lawn, we were both set a challenge to select 5 books out of a chosen 15 to write a passage about, I selected my 5 one was a book I knew that contained a lion character, I think it may have been 'The Lion The Witch & The Wardrobe' Woke up at 9am wondering what that was all about? 

With Davina 

Today is The Big Love Of My Life's 41st Birthday, from many moon's ago. I don't know if you only get 1 soul mate in your lifetime or not? But if so, he was definitely mine! Lets hope we can have at least a 2nd, as I'd love to have such an intense, emotional, spiritual and mental connection & attraction to someone, the way I had with him! I could sense him in a room, even if he was somewhere I had no idea he'd be, or if he had landed back in England a day or week (whatever) before he was due to be back. I'd even go to pick up the phone seconds before he called on it, we had a real psychic/telepathic connection.

Heard the letterbox go & went downstairs & I saw I had a brown envelope posted through my door, that looked empty, checked the postage stamp it said South London & I thought "oh no don't let this be from Ian as there are definitely no contact lenses in there!!"

Opened the letter (nothing not even a note inside!!) great either the seal had come unstuck & lenses fell out then re stuck down (as I can repeatedly stick & unstick the envelope) or post people opened my envelope as a suspicious package & didn't put them back in after, or did, but as they didn't re seal with sellotape, it came open and they fell out!!) they can't of been stolen, as they're unless you know the prescription, they are of no use, whatever happened I'm fucked again (as usual) & needing to buy lenses I can't afford!! I have some really shit Karma, someone somewhere must have a Voodoo doll of me with a million pins in, and a pile of mini ripped up envelopes!! I had some Special K Red Berry's & a Coffee for breakfast.

Dressed the same as yesterday & popped to the corner shop for a Sun Paper, then went online and applied for 15 auditions & 10 retail management jobs, all via a bloody retail agency, I much prefer to go straight to the company itself, as I always get an interview from the company's, when I apply direct, agency's rarely respond, or let you know why they didn't put you forward (especially when you know the job description describes you to a T, and you know you are more than qualified & capable for the position....... it's so F@#king frustrating!!) I did some ironing & took the white bed linen off the bed, to put in laundry basket & exchanged for lemon bed linen, duvet cover etc.


Made some Macaroni Cheese for lunch, with a Side Salad & went to watch a bit of Sci Fi, on Channel One while I ate, only to be shocked to see a dead screen, with a message saying "Channel One is no longer broadcasting" with no other explanation? Bugger I guess I wont be getting to see the 2nd Series of the NEW 'V' now!! wonder what that's all about? I was watching it yesterday, no mention of closure then!?? Most Odd! 

Read the paper the father of the 14yr girl who died (Antonia Browne) with two male friends (Driver Michael Gallagher 16 & Tom Hughes 15) when they crashed the car they were joyriding in, said "They paid the ultimate price for being silly" Errrrr they were not being SILLY, they were being CRIMINALS!!  


Later I did a twitcam chatcam with @Daylighttheory who were very frank and honest about their departure from Starman & pretty much reiterated to fans, what they told me last Friday & Saturday night . They were chatting munching pizza making my tummy rumble so I had a Marine Crumble with steamed veg, then watched "The Betty Driver Story" quite interesting, she had a real roller coaster life!!

Later I watched 'Gok's Clothes Roadshow' which was reliably disappointing, though one long animal print summer dress on the High St runway was lovely. Watched the FAB My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, where a lot of 'grabbing' went on!! Then to finish off my Tackfest 'Snog Marry, Avoid?' & 'Hotter Than My Daughter' some states on both, but the make-overs were dire too, they made the potentially pretty girls/women on both show,s look so frumpy/nerdy after that I almost preferred the before's!!! WTF??


Ian contacted me earlier saying did I see that StarNow were talking about a Cougar & Cub Party  for OMG? I said yeah Steve & Co had mentioned it to me when I was at ITV a week ago, they also mentioned Cougar & Cub Speed Dating, Ian said  "That's Hysterical!!" Finally went to bed at 1.30am  (Calories Consumed 1,703)

Wednesday 2nd Feb, Woke at 9am, If I dreamt I can't recall any of it? Went downstairs, wondering what the day would entail?

I had a shower & a breakfast of Special K Red Berry's & a Coffee, then put out the rubbish & popped to the corner shop for a Sun Newspaper. Did a bunch of chores round the house then made Macaroni cheese with a salad & ate lunch & chilled a bit with the paper.Jordan is to file for divorce on the anniversary of their wedding, she says she fell out of love with Alex when he lost his cage fight with Tom 'Kong' Watson & got his face smashed in. 

A British Airways worker was given secret orders urging him to get a cabin crew job & blow up a plane, something that sum Rajib Karim was keen to do, but bemoaned needed to have 5 years service before he could apply for aircrew training but he had only 3 so far (thank god for that) his encrypted emails to al-Qaeda Cleric al-Awlaki thanks to a police computer analyst! Another bad Muslim (unlike my lovely Muslim brother-in-law)  Mohammed Hanif Khan one of Britain's most respected Muslim ministers is in jail for raping a boy of 12yrs telling him "You are my bitch!" & abusing another!


Some twat on Facebook has set up a Fake profile of my friend Stephany Ledigo, Slagging off Andrew Stone & the rest of Starman trying to make her look bad so I reported it & posted link to it on my profile for friends to do the same! Then Friend Requested Louie Spence's nephew Lotan, with a message attached, as we have a lot of mutual friends, did some more chores, stopping to watch 'Home & Away' then went online & did a load of job searches applied for 18 retail management/assistant management jobs & 8 auditions!


I was peckish not hungry at 7.30pm so had a bowl of  Special K then watched the New Show 'Beauty & The Beast : The Ugly Face Of Prejudice' which featured looks obsessed Yasmin with a massive pair of boobs (natural) & childhood burns victim Leo. Yasmin was a sweet insecure girl, who Leo fairly easily convinced to go out, without her clip in hair extensions & make-up, to help her realise she was a young pretty girl & people didn't recoil when she was eau natural. Leo was a beautiful lad of around 11 when he was horrifically burnt, & to be honest, in spite of his scaring you still can tell that he would of been a very handsome man indeed, if the accident had not happened, he was an absolutely lovely guy & his eyes sparkled from behind his tight fire scared skin. They spent a day or two in each others lives to see how they live and prejudices etc they face, Leo realised the hassle the JJ cupped Yasmin got from men for being so busty & became more understanding on why she wanted a boob reduction (her back must of killed her too!) 

 Leo & Yasmin

Andy the Identical Twin I mentioned in my blog "The Week Before, The Week After" Adam who suffers with neurofibromatosis, who's condition affects him on the outside while it affects his identical twin brother Neil on the inside. Adam was great fun posing in white pants mimicking David Beckham in the Armani Ads in a photo for a billboard, to gauge the public's reaction, along with a model with half her arm missing, mimicking the Hello Boys Wonderbra Ad (the public reactions in the main were good!) 

 Adam with Identical Twin Brother Neil

Part Of The Poster

With Adam In His Pants

The Original Beckham Poster

Watch Beauty & The Beast Here, While Still Available 

Watched Mary Portas: Secret Shopper, she took on phone shops (one stubborn guy took ages to convince to make a move forward but did in the end) disappointed she didn't take on phones 4u, but the fault with that company to be honest, lies more with the company than its serving staff,  most of their staff are good with customers, but the company behind Phones 4u and Globe treat their staff appallingly! Maybe we need a secret boss, not secret shopper for that to be sorted! 

Louie Spence's Showbusiness - The Extras

Word is, the extras are not on Louie Spence's Showbusiness again this week, but my friend Ian Mann was briefly, moaning about being in audition queue for over 2hrs lol. I think we will be mostly cut as, they wanted desperate delusional wannabes, who talked up themselves big & then couldn't deliver, but I think we disappointed them by being good, at all we took on! Which defeated their reason for filming us I feel, hence we were cut mostly. Chilled with Closer magazine in bed & crashed at 2am (Calories consumed, 1,411)


Thursday 3rd Feb,  I woke at 9am & know I had a very hectic action filled dream but I no longer recall it. Went downstairs to get breakfast & discovered my Beauty Biz package with my freebie products had arrived I'm going to try them out & give you a honest account of if they work or not & if so I'll tell you where you can buy them, in the package are NEW slimming pills from Bulgaria they claim you will lose 6-8lb (3-4kg) a month without having to change your normal eating habits (so imagine how well they'd work in conjunction with a diet, if they do indeed be proven to work!!) I am going to eat what I fancy, as if I'm not dieting, but just eating normally, while I try them out, to ensure I don't lose weight by just dieting!! It says on the bottle to take 1-3 capsules per day, but I am told to take 2 every other day one in the morning & one in the afternoon & not to exceed this!


I'm also trying out a liquid treatment to make eyebrows thicker & eyelashes thicker & longer, I will coat it on each night before I go to bed & let you know my progress's, it says for the most stable results a 8 weeks course is recommended (so that will be April 1st lol, April fools day promise I wont joke about results!) it costs £55 for a 6 month supply at time of typing so will get back to you on progress. 

I am also trying a water resistant liquid eyeliner, that cannot fade, smudge, run or flake even if you rub your eyes!! Only warm water & gentle pressure from finger or facecloth will remove it by sliding it off. Along with that I am trying the coordinating mascara which removes the same way. 

Had Special K & a slice of Toast with Nutella for breakfast as I'm hungry & not watching what I eat then had a bath & put my hair in a pony tail & did make-up, and tried the new mascara & liquid eyeliner, eyeliner is not bad it reminds me of the rubberised stuff you could get in the 60's/70's that you could just roll at outer end & then just peel off, but I feel the long thin bendy brush, lets it down a bit a shorter firmer shaped brush would suit me better as I like to do a 50's style winged liquid liner & the brush is ill equipped to achieve that look well. 

The mascara is a good deep black but not as thickening & lengthening as those I like but will save some to try on 1st April as may look good if the eyelash/eyebrow has done it's stuff & did what it says on the box, and I have long thick eyelashes anyway!!


Today  is my niece's birthday (her 16th I think? there are so many of them, it's hard to keep up with their ages) I feel bad I've had no Money to buy her a card, and all the cards I'd looked at in my pre bought card box (mostly bought in Joy, before it closed down) are inappropriate for a young girl. Once I have paid off part of my Electric Bill, Last Months Rent & my red Gas Bill, I will post off the 1st lot of their Xmas prezzies as they obviously won't be coming down south for a while & I just don't have the money to send it in one big heavy parcel (which will have to go recorded delivery after what happened to last eBay Item I posted off & my recent postal disasters!!) Then I will concentrate on scraping together this months rent! I don't even have any credit to text her Happy Birthday, mind you, I lost her mobile number when my last phone broke.

Jennie Called inviting me round for a girly night at 8pm dressed in black wet look leggings & ivory polo neck, with faux fur oasis beige gillet, checked my inbox for work/audition responses (ZILCH!!) so applied for some more (Never give up, no matter how much defeat looks you in the eye!!) 

Watched 'May The Best House Win' had lunch of Spinach & Ricotta Cannelloni & oven chips, then cleaned the kitchen & bathroom tiles before reading The Sun paper. The front page news is Kate Moss is to get married (who cares!!?) Meanwhile the small strip at the side says 3 killed & 1,500 injured in Cairo (I know which I think is the more important news!!) Cheryl Cole is moving to Hadley Wood, North London, not far from where I once lived, I still have a few friends living there.


A Islamist female suicide bomber was waiting in her Moscow safe house on NYE before preparing to kill 100's of revellers in Red Square, her bomb was to be triggered by a mobile text message, but that message came 6hrs early, when 6hrs before set detonation time, she was text by her mobile phone operator wishing her a happy New Year, causing her to be the only one to die by the bomb!! Ha ha ha ha ha that's Karma!


There is a picture of Model Lara Stone as Marilyn Monroe for Red Nose Day, her body looks great but her face mouth & teeth look awful surely they could of airbrushed that somewhat??

 Lara Stone

Police are trying to desperately get scumbag Crossbow Cannibal killer to tell them what he has done with his 1st victim, before he dies of self inflicted starvation! As nothing has been found of her remains! WANKER!!


Watched Home & Away & then set off to Jennies, Chatted to Jennie over a glass of cider, after popping up to see her daughter Lara & have a chart. Jennie was telling me about a film or play she went to with her mum, as she chatted, I realised we have nothing in common really anymore & nothing of any interest to tell each other either (as the fact that I can now no longer recall, a few days later, whether she was talking about a film or play, belies) we really are more like strangers, with awkward silences these days. 

I said my Ex Kieron had asked me if I fancied a afternoon drink up this week, but hadn't responded as hadn't had time, or the credit to reply, nor felt like an afternoon drink, this week as of yet. She said he has a new girlfriend, a Lapdancer from Oxford who works in a Bedford/Luton Club, again I didn't bother paying enough attention to which it was! "Maybe he wanted to brag over an afternoon drink" I said. Watched last "Outnumbered" quite funny, then 'Not Going Out' very funny!!

 Outnumbered

Had some Brandson Pickle Mini Cheddars & a Diet Coke & went home around midnight. Went to bed soon after, putting the liquid treatment I'm trying, on my eyebrows & lashes (Calories consumed 1,440)

Friday 4th Feb, Woke at 9am I know I dreamed but can't recall any of it, quite bright out,had a bowl of Special K for breakfast with a coffee & took my 1st diet pill, wore baby pink long sleeved Petit Bateau V-neck T-shirt with grey cargo pants. 

Did a natural make-up but with the new liquid liner I tried using it with the short hard shaped liner brush from a finished Constance Carol liquid eyeliner (very good I recommend Constance Carol liners) the result was much better. 

I also used the mascara I'm testing again. Spotted a red lady bird, on my bedroom sheer curtains, wow thought it was too early to see any of those does that mean the weather is getting hotter & spring is near?? Popped online to check if I had any job/audition replies, and checked my Hotmail/Twitter & Facebook messages, and was Horrified to discover Facebook has changed our photo albums to stupid album slide shows which makes your photos & your friends a fraction of the size, bloody awful!! Applied for some more jobs & auditions online.

Popped to the shop & got a Sun paper & then made lunch  of a toasted fried egg sandwich with veggie bacon. Went to my local nail, bar, and used my free manicure voucher I'd got at Christmas, as my nails had really grown a lot, since they were last painted black, with glittery sparkles, today I went for a sparkly pearlized white so the complete opposite almost, was chatting to a woman there who just came back from holidaying in Egypt, she said their were armed soldiers round their hotel protecting them, but they were in Sharma Sheik, but not in the hub of the troubles in Cairo!

Got home watched 'Home & Away' then read the paper. Front page is the Amanda Knox Movie outrage about the murder of Meredith Kercher, do the film makers have no compassion for the victims family, to make such a film when it is still so recent & raw? British women have become Europe's fatty's with an Average BMI of Almost 27 mine was 21 before mum died, now it's 25, many Europeans are a healthy 24.2

A awful story in the paper about a Strict Indian father, in England who did not want his daughter to date a soldier, who strangled her (so dead is better than a soldier boyfriend? Madness!!) 54yr old Gurmeet Singh Ubhi, did not like the fact she had a 'white English boyfriend' (why? if they did marry & had kids, with him being white, their kids would be higher up the caste system!!)


Two Muslim councillors sparked anger (rightly so!!) by refusing to join in a standing ovation for a war hero. Respect party members (Respect, that's a joke for a start!) Salma Yaqoob & Mohammed Ishtiaq were amid 100 city council workers at a meeting where George cross winning Marine hero L/Cpl Croucher 27 was the guest of honour. Ignorant bastards!


Made Ocean Pie with Oven Chips for Dinner, washed down with a Diet Coke (lol how Irish 2 lots of potato mash & chips) Watched the Soaps & Comedy Rocks (not bad Russell Kane still wasn't funny tho) then the Graham Norton Show (very Funny) but he had the band, The Wanted on (Wanted by who? certainly not me)

 
How did they become famous? Naff songs, average voices, even worse when singing live, they don't even conform to the pretty boy boy band look, three absolute mingers, an over grown lookalike of the curly haired kid from BBC's Outnumberd & the only attractive one that looks like the love child of Gok Wan & Raef Bjayou.  Then I watched the film 'Perfect Creature' snacking on some Twiglets, followed by an odd Nichole Kidman film 'Birth' before crashing out for the night (Calories consumed 1,570)


Saturday 5th Feb,  I Had a weird dream, I was in a room and was being observed by someone in a car outside my window, but I was confused as I was living on the 2nd floor, but it turned out the car was on one of those car transporting lorries, though why a top car had people sat in it I don't know?? It confused me in my dream. Woke at 9am had a bath & then had some Special K for breakfast, popped to the shop & got a Sun Newspaper & got a text from Nicky. 

Went online and did a load of job searches & applied to 15 online then went on StarNow & other audition sites and applied for 8 auditions. One got straight back to me but they wanted me to film all day Monday for £40 & lunch, it's The Walkers Crisps, Comedian Challenge, Ad for Comic Relief, but I had a important Hospital Appointment I had to keep at 3pm so I couldn't do it, bugger!! mind you after travel I'd of only made £25 for a 8-10hr day, so around £2.50 per hr

Wrapped up in my Black studded leggings, cream cashmere polo neck, long flat black boots, my long black coat plus cream wool scarf, gloves & hat as it was very cold & windy out. Popped to letting agents to pay in a £200 cheque towards my Electric (they didn't send me a bill for 3 of my quarterly bills & now I have to pay almost £300 for my last 3 quarterly bills, in one go. It would of been a lot easier to pay idiots quarterly, I thought the meter reading was a bit late, but with so much going on, Chasing jobs, auditions etc I just didn't notice just how late!!) Then I went to Wilkinson's to get some cleansing wipes, with some of my vouchers. 

Passed Jane Norman & saw a top & sweater dress with leopard head designs on which appealed to my love of Big Cats (This is when I hate being broke)

The Jane Norman Leopard Sweater/Dress 

The Ruched Leopard Jane Norman Top 

Bought a Sun paper in Tesco's got in & had 4 Veggie Sausages & Weight Watchers Chive Mash, for lunch with a Coffee & Chunky KitKat for dessert, put in my 2nd white wash, and  hung the 1st lot out to dry.

Then read the paper, Posh Spice has been told their baby is a girl (after 3 sons) David Cameron has declared a zero tolerance approach on Muslim extremists (about time) said that Tolerating Muslim extremism has fuelled terror in Britain & Labours forced multiculturalism has failed (here here, spot on!!) Picture of Paddy McGinness'es stunning model girlfriend in lingerie is in on page 3. 

More madness a prisoner has changed his name officially to 'Sir' by deed poll, after stupid prison service guidelines, instructed to call inmates by their name of choice! The inmates are paying the £33 fee to change their names to wind up officers, even framing their certificates. Some changed their names to obscenities, but governors ruled staff did not have to use those. Other name changes were to My-Lord, Majesty, Great One, Your Highness & Magnificence which are madly valid! It's crazy as the prisoners certainly don't treat the officers with any respect, yet that's all geared at the scum prisoners.


At 7pm I watched the New Harry Hill Show & among others lampooned was 'Louie Spence's Showbusiness' gutted his new series didn't start a few weeks ago I'd of loved to have been Lampooned by Harry!!

The Fab Harry Hill

Hung out my 2nd white wash after collecting the dry white laundry from the 1st one, then put a black wash in the machine. Had a Tuna & Salad Sandwich & some Brandson Pickle Mini Cheddars for a light supper while watching 'Take Me Out' 

I think I should of opted out of 'Louie Spence's Showbusiness' for 'Take Me Out' seeing that it appears, all of the good footage I did for the show, has been cut out of it (for whatever reason!!?) one or two guys were OK, 2 got buzzed out with no dates, one being a black muscle guy who was in 'Louie Spence's Showbusiness' this week (They decided not to put me on, Take Me Out, as I was in 'Showbusiness' while Take Me Out ran, he was obviously not as honest as I "Note to self be less honest!!")


My Friend Ian Tweeted me about that very fact saying @ian_mannly @The_Evil_Barbie Live & learn baby. NEVER be honest unless you have a REALLY big part. They can't sue you.

I replied 'well if Showbusiness hadn't cut so much of my filming I would of had a Big part & was not to know it would be on the cutting room floor due to being too good!!' He replied .....


@ian_mannly @The_Evil_Barbie I've never been more gutted for you because this was a bigger opportunity. #takemeout


@ian_mannly @The_Evil_Barbie They fooled us all, and I kind of got that vibe as soon as they started with Andy. That's why I didn't go to Polly or Andy.

@ian_mannl @The_Evil_Barbie No, I mean that's why I didn't go to Polly or Paul's things. I just got a vibe instantly. I did the video because it was us


I said he was right, in the end something like Take Me Out, would of better for me in the long run, than Louie Spence's Showbusiness, that promised us so much, that we were willing to give our time for free (like cast of The Only Way Is Essex) and have expenses only (still unpaid 6 months on!) which in the end it seems delivered nothing, due to the crime of being good, if we'd made our self look like morons we'd of got lots of air time! He replied....


@ian_mannly @The_Evil_Barbie In this business you can't be honest hun. You just play both sides & see how it goes. x


Did a few household chores then watched The Tudors on BBC2 (One of the rare good BBC programs) then chilled reading my Marilyn Monroe book in bed crashing out around 3am (Calories Consumed 1,554)

Sunday 6th Feb, Woke at 7am but went back to sleep until 11am (well it is Sunday!!) Dreamt something about going to a bar & a party and getting a coach somewhere. Base of spine in a lot of pain today roll on Acupuncture Tuesday!! Had a wash did hair & make-up slipped on black leggings, my black Petit Bateau scooped neck cotton top & my black TrimSoles (still irritate my toes 1yr on!!) & popped to the shop to pick up my News Of The World paper & 2pnts of milk. Had a coffee & bowl of Fruit & Fibre for breakfast & took one of the slimming tablets I'm testing.

Did a few chores & more laundry then chilled reading the newspaper, munching on some Branston Pickle Mini Cheddars. The front page news was Amanda Holden losing her baby at 7 months period, I knew it would be after learning of it on Twitter yesterday, she & her husband must be devastated.


Text my ex Kieron's best friend Vaughan, to ask about fitting brackets to put back up both my wardrobe wooden poles (I can't find brackets to buy big enough & the original ones were stupidly plastic, not metal so weight of clothes on pole, made them crack around the holes for screws, and fall off) so they have been hanging on hangers from edge of wardrobe shelf (making doors unable to close & taking up room!!) As he said, when I saw him at Hawaiian themed 50th Birthday Party, that he'd sort it for me. So I text "Be careful what you promise when drunk, but if you can sort wardrobe poles for me that would be most appreciated" he text back "Leave it to me, I'll get back to you!" 

Re arranged more stuff in the back room, then had an Admirals Pie with Salad for lunch & took the 2nd diet pill of the day, then Damon the brother of my Ex Murray called for a chat & catch up & we had a laugh about mutual friends/acquaintances etc. for about 20-30 mins. I have a painful spot just inside my left nostril (How sexy ...... NOT!!) probably due to an ingrowing hair (How unsexy again!!) Funny how they hurt 10 times as much as spots on the outside of your nose!! 

My mum told me (When she was alive) that she heard from someone that you must NEVER burst a spot that's inside your nose, as poison from it can travel upwards to your brain & kill you!, I don't know who she heard that from & how much credence it has?? But I want to burst this bugger & burn it into submission with alcohol/perfume!!


Having difficulty squashing clothes in my wardrobe & my 8 chest of draws & the 4 draws below my bed are already fit to bust & I have removed everything I don't want, to put on eBay. So I wondered if I put all the clothes on thin wire hangers instead of their normal wooden/plastic ones, if it would make the squeeze somewhat less?? So I did so & wow its loose enough to put in a few more bits now! Along the way I found some fab garments I'd forgotten I had (due to layering several things on one hanger) must remember to wear them this summer.


Had a veggie sausage sandwich for tea with a diet coke & watched this weeks 'Dancing On Ice' and wrote my weekly review on it (To read it yourself click HERE) I could not believe who was in the bottom two it was total madness!!


Took another laundry load out of the machine to dry, then watched 'That Sunday Night Show' which was a damn site funnier in the 1st half than the entire past 3 shows of '10 O'Clock Show' which has been a massive fail & huge let down, in spite of the Jimmy Carr & David Mitchell who I both love are on it!! Need to get some 10p rubber bands tomorrow to bundle plastic & wooden hangers together to box up. Had the munchies so had a coffee & a bowl of Fruit & Fibre, then watched 'Asylum' on Film4. A odd film, a Tad Lady Chatterley's Lover in places. (Calories consumed 1,434)